5 Emotional and Mental Ways to Prepare for Marriage
Marriage is a commitment you are supposed to make for life. Most people get through it while others stumble, fall, and fail to get up along the way. One difference between the couples who make it work and those who don’t is preparation. It takes the right state of mind and emotional health to start married life, and it behooves you to get ready in every possible way. Most couples concentrate too much on the physical aspects such as the wedding, living together, and joint finances, and forget that the mind needs to be ready as well.
Be Ready for Change
A majority of couples get caught up in the romance of dating and the excitement of planning the wedding that they completely forget that some things will not be the same once they start living together. It can be especially daunting if you have been living on your own for a long time. Making those adjustments to accommodate someone else in your life requires acceptance and preparedness for change. Marriage means that you have to consult each other before making major decisions and count on each other’s support every step of the way. Going into a marriage without the mental readiness to accept change can cause a lot of distress and negative mentions that will affect everyone.
According to expert Dr. Hendrie Weisinger, a marriage where couples apply emotional intelligence is set to be more rewarding than one that doesn’t. Individuals who are understanding, attentive kind, supportive, and open to criticism tend to last longer in relationships because they are emotionally mature. Couples should know the “emotional nutrients” they require when getting into a relationship to know if their marriage is supplying them or not. Weisinger explains the concept of emotional contagion where partners pass on their emotions like a virus. An effective way to avoid getting overwhelmed by emotional contagion is to know how to regulate emotional arousal, which will avoid aggravating bad situations.
Committing to a lifelong relationship without understanding yourself and your patterns can cause disappointments along the way. If you have had failed relationships before, know what the problem was and ensure you know how to handle it better than before. Maybe you have a habit of setting realistic expectations for your relationship, so check that. It doesn’t matter how epic that first date was or how much chemistry is going on between the two of you; if you fall into the same habits, the relationship is bound to go bust. Know your capacity for love before you commit.
Breaking Bad Habits
Taking some habits such as addiction into a marriage can be destructive in every many ways. In this internet age, addiction to pornography is one of the greatest problems that some marriages face. A spouse who is addicted to pornography may have issues relating to their partner intimately and disillusions about sexual relationships, leading to perverse desires and demands. Porn addiction also destroys trust between two people, and once that is gone, the damage is sometimes irreparable. Make an effort to break porn addiction for good, as well as any other habit or addiction that can get between you and the person of number one importance in your life.
The worst mistake you can make is relying on your partner for your fulfillment. Before you start a marriage, know what your goals are and what you intend to do to achieve them. Feelings of resentment arise when you put too much on your partner, and then they fail to deliver. Even though your happiness is tied to the two of you as a couple, be responsible for making it happen. You don’t have to always wait on your spouse to do things to make you happy since you can take the initiative.